The Light Amongst the Darkness
by thewordgirl
Summary: Tumblr Prompt: repeatinglitanies prompted: After injuring himself to escape battle, Rumplestiltskin returns home only to be told that his wife was leaving him and his son died at birth. In a neighboring village a few nights earlier, Belle, a wealthy young widow, finds a beautiful baby boy at her doorstep.
1. Chapter 1

"_Milah?" Rumplestiltskin called to his wife as he made his way back into their small cottage._

_Opening the doors to find his wife seated at their old wooden table-sewing an old and torn up shirt-he said her name again with a wide grin on his face. _

"_Milah." _

"_I'm nearly finished!" She replied giddily, looking up from the needle and thread and smiling widely at her husband. _

"_You've learned quickly." He approved happily as he walked towards her. _

"_Well I have a good teacher." She replied flirtatiously, batting her eyelashes playfully at him as she did so. _

_Chuckling at the sentiment, Rumplestiltskin knelt down and placed his hands on Milah's cheeks-planting a sweet kiss on her lips. _

_Pulling away from her-he stood back up again. He could barely contain his excitement as he stared down lovingly at his wife. _

"_What is it?" She asked curiously. "What brings you home so early?"_

"_Milah." He began. "My weaving days are behind us. I've been called to the front." _

_He slowly began to unravel the scroll of paper to confirm his words. _

_Milah placed her hand delicately upon the scroll as she read the words-ensuring that what he was telling her was true. _

"_The Ogre's War." She spoke slowly. _

_Rumplestiltskin clapped his hands together in excitement. He was practically bouncing-he could barely contain himself. _

"_I report for training in the morning!" He said. _

_Milah looked up at him, her face covered in a veil of fear. _

"_No." She shook her head. "Rumple-I've heard stories-the front-it's a brutal place." _

_Wishing nothing more than to comfort her-Rumplestiltskin came closer to her and took the seat at the table that was right across from her. _

"_Oh, I know, I know." He began, placing his hand tenderly and lovingly atop of Milah's. "And I-I can't say that I won't-I won't be frightened. But-But this is the chance I've been waiting for-all my life. You know, I've lived under the shadow of my father's actions for too long now." _

_Milah stared at him, leaning in closer.. _

"_Just because your father was a coward it doesn't mean you are." She said, her eyes begging him to believe her. _

"_Oh I know." He replied softly. "As do you-but to the world?" He gestured towards the outside of the cottage. "Fighting in this War finally gets me the chance to prove that to everyone else." _

_Milah nodded slowly in agreement. _

"_Go." She said, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes. "Be brave. Fight-honorably." _

_He stared back at her with nothing but sheer adoration his eyes. _

"_Oh God I love you." He said. _

"_I love you too." She replied breathlessly. _

"_When you return, we can start living the life we've always dreamed of." She began._

"_Yah" Rumplestiltskin continued. _

"_We can have-" Milah said. _

"_A family." They both said-speaking at the same time._

* * *

Rumplestiltskin awoke startled-a cold sweat covering his body.

Every night. Every night since the week before last-he'd had the same dream.

Well-it was hardly a dream-nor could he describe it as a nightmare. It was a memory-a memory of an afternoon that seemed like a lifetime ago. But-even calling it a memory didn't seem the right description. It was a _lie. _A lie-proof of an entire lifetime with a woman who had fed him false promises and false affection.

It was a reminder of a better time. A time before his life had turned to shambles. It was as if his mind was playing a cruel joke on him-reminding him of a time not so long ago when he had believed someone loved him. When he had believed there was someone who cared for him. When he believed that-for once-he was going to get everything he had ever wanted.

And to be fair-Rumplestiltskin wasn't even sure if it was fair to say that _all _of it had been a lie. That his entire relationship with Milah had been built upon his honest feelings and her web of deceit. He truly didn't know. They had a long history-had been together long before she'd met that pirate-_Killian Jones. _

And that is what Rumplestiltskin found to be the most difficult. The fact that he did not-nor would he ever-know what parts-if any-of his relationship with Milah were real. Of course-it had all been very real for him. He'd loved her dearly-but he now didn't know if that was ever the case for her.

It had been nearly two weeks now. Nearly two weeks since his life-his future-had all been shattered into little pieces.

* * *

_He hobbled his way through thick and heavy patches of mud. In spite of the difficulty it caused for him to walk-he relished the sight of these mud puddles. For these patches of mud always formed outside of his home-he and Milah's home-whenever the village experienced a heavy rainfall. They were a reminder of home._

_He had walked for miles from the front. Using a long and twisted tree branch as a walking stick-and the pain he was feeling in his leg was excruciating. It was like a slow burning flame-gnawing away at his flesh but never fully finishing the job. _

_The pain was worth it though. As was causing his own injury and fleeing from the War. It was all worth it. After the Seer had told him that Milah was pregnant and that he was to be a father-and that he was going to die in battle-the decision had been easy. _

_He might go home a coward-but that didn't matter to him anymore. What mattered to him was caring for Milah and their child. _

"_Milah! Milah!" He shouted as he inched his way closer and closer to the front door. _

_Milah could hear Rumplestiltskin calling out to her. She knew he was nearing closer and closer-as had she known he would be returning home. News traveled quickly from the front-as did it between villages and Kingdoms. _

_She had not expected that she would have to see him again. See him before she left him forever to be with another man. But nonetheless-his cowardice left her with a perfect excuse as to why she was leaving him. The anger she felt towards the husband who had made a laughingstock of her throughout the entire village overshadowed the small numbing feeling of guilt she'd been feeling since she and Killian had left the baby on the doorstep of a young widow in a village a few miles over. _

_Milah had only returned to the village to pack a few more of her things before she met Killian at the docks and sailed off with him-she'd never anticipated that she would have to feast her eyes on the pathetic excuse for a man that she'd married. When the news had reached her that Rumplestiltskin had ran-it only reinforced the love and respect Milah felt for Killian. _

_It had only been a few days after Rumplestiltskin had departed that Milah had met the pirate, Killian Jones, in the nearby tavern._

* * *

_God he was dashing. More handsome than any other man Milah had ever laid eyes on. But it was not just the physical attraction she had felt toward Killian that made her desire him so easily. No-it was his sense of adventure. The fact that he didn't seem to have any roots-hadn't settled down anywhere and never intended to stay in one place for too long._

_He didn't have a plan. He went about his life as he pleased. Traveling all around the world and meeting different people from all walks of life. He was exciting and exotic. And Milah had fallen for him almost instantly. _

_She had been raised the same way that most women in her village were. Taught the essentials of life-how to cook, clean, care for one's husband, and how to be a good mother. She had never even considered the fact that there was more that life could offer her-she hadn't known anything different. _

_But when Killian came along-he had opened her eyes to an entirely different world. One that Milah had not even known existed. He had shown her that she need not settle for the ordinary-but that she could have anything she desired-if she just ran off with him. _

_It was only a few days after meeting Killian that Milah had discovered she was pregnant-with Rumplestiltskin's child. _

_The realization had not been the happy news she had always anticipated it to be-far from it. It felt as though the baby was a trap-a trap keeping her tied to Rumplestiltskin and the dismal life she realized she no longer wanted. _

_She truly did not know what to do. Killian would leave the village for weeks at a time and then return to her. It wasn't until she had begun to show that she'd confided in Killian about what had happened. _

"_I don't want it." Milah had said to him as he held her tightly in his arms one night after making love upon the deck of his boat-the Jolly Roger-underneath the stars. "I don't love my husband. I don't want to be with him. I could never give this child the kind of love it deserves. Not when knowing who its father is." _

"_Why do you have to tell him?" Killain reasoned. "He's not here. He never even has to know you were pregnant." _

"_News in this village spreads quickly." Milah said. "People already know-and soon-everyone will. And eventually-he'll find out. He'll know." _

"_Well-you know-there are ways to get rid of it." Killian had said. _

_Milah would have been lying if she said she hadn't considered that. She knew there were ways of terminating pregnancy-but they were painful and almost unheard of amongst all of the villages. And truthfully-she didn't have it in her heart to do it. She couldn't. _

"_I know." She'd said, pressing her face gently into Killian's chest. "But I can't do that Killian-I-I can't." _

"_Aye-I understand my love." He said gently, kissing the top of her head.. "But-what if-what if you were to give it to someone else?"_

_Milah stilled at his words. _

_Could she do that? Was it possible? _

"_Who would willingly take someone else's child?" Milah asked him, looking up at him-trying to understand his logic. _

"_I'm not suggesting you tell the person you're giving it to them love." He said sneakily. "I'm suggesting you just-leave it on someone's doorstep." _

"_What?!" Milah had said-completely floored by his suggestion. "But-how could I guarantee that the child would be safe?"_

"_No one would deny a baby, love." Killian reasoned. "Especially one that was left all alone." _

_Milah stayed silent. _

"_Or." Killain continued. "Like I told you before-we could keep it. You and I. The child would never have to know that his father-"_

"_No." Milah said abruptly. "I meant what I said. I don't want it. You're right. No one would ever just leave a baby alone. I'll do it. But we have to leave it in a neighboring village. I don't want any trace of this in my own." _

"_As you wish love." Killian said gently. _

_Milah's mind was now whirling with possibilities. This plan-it opened every door up for her. It no longer left her tethered to Rumplestiltskin-nor this place. She would be free. Free to do as she wished. Free to be with Killian. _

"_Once the baby is born-you and I-we'll leave this place. We'll leave the baby in a neighboring village and then we can go-and never return." Milah began. "I'll be sure that no one see's the baby. I'll tell them that it died in childbirth. That way-word will never get back to Rumplestiltskin that the baby is actually alive." _

"_And you're sure this is what you want love?" Killian asked. "We could just leave now and then, once the baby is born-"_

"_No." Milah interrupted. "No. I need to wait. I'm not fit to travel in this state anyways. And this way-no one will ever question whether or not I actually had the baby. They'll all believe it to be dead."_

_Milah looked into Killian's eyes-her own filled with worry. _

"_It's only 4 more months-maybe less-and then, and then we can go." She stuttered. "Can-can you wait for me?" _

_Killian stared back at Milah. Bringing his face close to hers, he claimed her lips in a rough and passionate kiss. _

"_Of course I'll wait for you." He hissed as he tore his lips away from hers. "I love you." _

"_And I love you." Milah replied, pulling him towards her to kiss him again._

* * *

"_Milah. Milah." Rumplestiltskin gasped as he hobbled through the doorway and collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion. _

"_Rumple." Milah said-her voice lacking any trace of emotion. _

_Rumplestiltskin noticed the bag in her arms immediately. _

"_What's that?" He asked, raising his arm and pointing towards the bag. _

_Milah casted her eyes downward and glanced at her belongings. Looking back at Rumplestiltskin, her eyes narrowed as she fully took in the sight of him. _

_He was covered in filth-his hair a tangled mess from the wind and the rain. His clothes were ripped and torn apart-and his leg was a bloody and contorted mess. She could see that very clearly-even though his calloused hands were covering it-applying pressure to it to try and cease the pain. _

"_I'm leaving you." Milah said simply. _

"_What?" Rumplestiltskin's head snapped up in shock. "What do you mean? I thought-what-where is the baby?"_

_Milah's eyes snapped wide open at that. There was no way he could have found out from someone in the village-not yet anyway-not this late at night. _

"_How did you-" Milah began. _

"_A Seer told me I was going to die in the battle. She told me I was to be a father." Rumplestiltskin began to explain. _

"_You did this because a Seer told you to do it?" Milah exclaimed-feeling even more anger rushing through her veins as she spoke to him. _

"_She was right about everything else!" He tried to reason. _

"_Just tell me this." Milah spat. "Is it true"_

"_Is what true?" He asked as he tried to catch his breath. _

"_Did you injure yourself?" Milah asked. "So that you wouldn't have to fight, so that you would be sent home?" _

_She wasn't sure why she felt like she needed to know-why she needed to hear the truth from him-she really wasn't. Deep down in her heart-she knew the rumors were true-she knew that he was the coward that everyone said he was. But, a part of her. A small part of her, the part of her who had married the Spinner and made him a promise of forever, needed to know the truth. She knew that, no matter what the answer-she still intended to leave him-but she had needed to know. _

_It hadn't taken much more arguing before he had confirmed it. _

"_Yes." He'd said, "I left the front to be with you-you and-" He paused. "Where is the baby?" _

_Milah stood her ground and shouted. _

"_He died. He died during childbirth. He's gone. And now-I'm leaving you. I don't ever want to see your face again. You're a coward. Just like your father." _

"_I'm nothing like my father!" Rumplestiltskin shouted, struggling to stand up. "He tried to abandon me-I would never have done that to my son! That's why I did this." He said gesturing to his knee. "All for the boy. To save him from the same fate I suffered-growing up without a father!" _

_Milah could feel her anger reaching its boiling point. _

"_Honestly." She hissed. "I'm happy he died. I'm happy he didn't survive. Death saved him from a fate much worse than that-death saved him from the burden of growing up as your son." _

_The words had hurt more than any of the physical tolls he had suffered while in battle. _

"_What else could I have done?" He cried. _

"_You could have fought Rumple!" Milah yelled. "You could have died!" _

"_You don't mean that." Rumplestiltskin said, shaking his head. "You don't mean that." _

"_Yes. I do." Milah said, her voice even. "And now, I'm leaving." _

_As she began to walk away, Rumplestiltskin pleaded with her. _

"_Milah. Milah I'm sorry. Milah, don't do this. Don't leave. Please-I-I can fix this-please." He begged. _

_She said nothing as she continued to walk away. _

"_Wait! Wait!" He shouted-struggling to follow her due to his injury. "If you're leaving-at least-at least tell me his name. Tell me who you're leaving me for."_

_Milah paused, slowly turning round to face him. _

"_I deserve that much." Rumplestiltskin whispered. _

"_Killian Jones." Milah said, her adoration for the man pouring out of her words. "He's a pirate-and I've been with him since you left." _

_Rumplestiltskin stared at Milah as she walked out of their cottage and out of his life. _

_His vision of her was blurred as he felt fat, wet tears fall down his face. _

_Tears for the woman he was losing-and tears for the son he'd never had the chance to meet._

* * *

Since that night-since his return home-Rumplestiltskin didn't know what to do with himself anymore. Before the War-he'd had a purpose. He'd needed to provide for his wife. During the War-he'd needed to look out for the other men. Both of these things-he had failed at. And now? He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Everyone in the village had ostracized him. Milah was right. New _did _travel quickly front the front. The day after his return-everyone in the village had learned of his cowardice-and merely a few days after that-they'd learnt of Milah's departure.

He didn't what to do.

If he had no one to live for-then what was the point of living at all?

* * *

"Shh little one." Belle Gold cooed sweetly to her little baby as she placed the fussy child gently into his crib. "Mama's here Bae."

It was quite extraordinary-how much Belle Gold's life had changed in just over two weeks. She had just gotten used to being a widow-the wife of a noble and loving fallen soldier-and now, she was a mother to a baby-a baby to whom she did not know belonged to.

It had been two weeks ago that Belle had been roused from her sleep in the early hours of the morning by the sound of crying. She had no idea what it could possibly be-and her curiosity had immediately kicked into overdrive.

Wrapping herself gently in her deceased husbands cloak-Belle made her way towards the outside of the cottage.

She had been very surprised to find a small baby-practically a newborn-nestled in a small basket, wrapped in a soft white blanket-on her doorstep.

She'd had no clue what to do. She'd shouted as loudly as she could-disturbing many of the fellow villagers as she did so-trying to find the child's parents-but they didn't appear to be anywhere in sight.

Tenderly and cautiously taking the child out of the basket and gathering him into her arms-Belle looked at him closely.

It had only taken mere moments before Belle had fallen completely in love with the beautiful baby. Even so young-she could tell that his eyes would be a deep hazel and that his hair would be dark brown-just like her own.

Over the next week, Belle had gone around to everyone in the village and asked if any of them knew who the baby might belong to-but none of them seemed to know-nor had anyone seen anybody unfamiliar walking through the village.

By the end of that first week-Belle found herself sitting alone in her cottage-with the then nameless baby cuddled closely to her chest. She truly did not know what she would do. She didn't know what the right thing was. For all she knew, there could be a family somewhere looking for him, but, Belle was not as naïve to believe that someone had merely left him on her doorstep with the intention of returning to get him in a few weeks time.

During this moment of confusion, Belle's mind drifted-as it so often did-to her late husband-Jefferson Gold.

Oh how she missed him. The two of them had met as teenagers and had fallen for one another very quickly. After nearly three years of being friends, Jefferson had asked Belle to marry him.

It had been a simple wedding-but a very happy affair. Neither Jefferson nor Belle were ever ones to dream of grandeur-like the Royals-but their wedding had been beautiful-and very fitting for the two of them.

They had been in love. But, as Belle had learned-not all Fairytales had happy endings. After only two months of marriage, Jefferson had been summoned to the battlefields to fight in the Ogre's War.

Belle had been terrified when the summons had come-and Jefferson had been reluctant to leave her. But the two of them knew that duty called-and that it was something he must do.

It was a month after that that Belle had been given the news from one of the Captain's. Jefferson had died. Had been killed protecting a fellow soldier. He'd died honorably, and in the best way possible.

The news had nearly killed Belle. She truly did not know how she could go on-and the months that followed had been the most difficult months in her entire life.

Usually a happy and chipper young woman-Belle had spent the months afterwards isolated and alone. She didn't want to talk to anyone. Whenever she did-they always gave her their condolences-and she didn't want them. She didn't wish to be reminded every time she set foot in the center of the village that she was a widow. That she was alone.

And now-months later, she found herself with this small baby in her arms. This baby who seemed to be as alone in the world as she was.

It was in that moment that Belle knew-she would keep this baby-and raise it as her own. She would do the honorable thing-just as Jefferson had done on the battlefield.

It was in that moment that Belle became more than a widow.

She became a mother.

**So, this originated as a prompt on tumblr from 'repeatinglitanies," but now I'm thinking of turning it into a 'Multi-Chapter" fic. So, please let me know what you think so I know if it'll be worth continuing! Thanks so much for reading, it means a lot! xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks had passed since Rumplestiltskin's return from the Battlefields and he was doing his best to adjust to the changes that life had thrown at him. And truthfully, it hadn't been all that difficult.

The other villagers had never taken kindly to him-even before he'd gone off to serve in the Ogre's War, because of his father's actions. He'd always been forced to live under the shadow of his father's mistakes, and suffer the consequences of growing up as his son. So, the ridicule and cruelty he faced from them was neither here nor there.

He'd even begun to get used to his injury. Oh sure, of course it still hurt. The pain was agonizing in fact-and he suspected that it would be for many years to come, but he was managing. He'd grown accustomed to the long walking staff he'd fashioned from a fallen down tree branch-he imagined it was similar to having a third leg. Awkward and slow, but manageable just the same.

The thing that Rumplestiltskin had not adjusted to was the silence. The constant silence that he was met with whenever he passed by others in the Village, and the silence of an empty house when he returned home for the night. While he may never have been the most talkative of men, and in fact, he _was _and always had been considered a rather quiet and shy man, he'd always had Milah to talk to when he returned home from a hard days work. And while the conversation might not have been anything exciting, and perhaps even a little dull and forced, it was happy and easy talk. It was comforting really. Comforting to know that, should he ever need something, or need to talk to _someone, _Milah was there.

But that was gone now.

And though the sting of Milah's betrayal and rejection still hurt, and though he'd convinced himself that the aching hole in his heart would never be mended, the cruelest thing about the silence was how _empty _it made him feel. He'd walked miles and miles from the War, injured and branded a coward, with the expectation that it would all be worth it because he had a family that was waiting for him.

His wife.

And his newborn son.

All throughout that long journey, he'd pictured what their life might be like now that they had a baby to love and care for. He'd imagined and relished in the thought of many sleepless nights trying to soothe their baby boy back to sleep. He'd excited himself with thoughts of teaching his son how to spin-sharing his passion and trade with him. He'd promised himself that he would be the father to his son that his own father _never _was to him.

He hadn't even met him yet-but he already loved his son more than life itself.

But that too had been taken away from him, and in a much crueler way. Their baby-_his _baby-hadn't even had a chance to breathe and taste the air. Hadn't had a chance to meet his parents. Hadn't had a chance to learn just how loved he was.

He'd been born-only to die.

Rumplestiltskin had nightmares nearly every night about his son. He'd thrash around in his sleep as he dreamed of his baby boy-screaming and crying for help as the life was slowly sucked out of him. In the dreams, Rumplestiltskin would try and do anything to reach him-do anything to get to him in time, but he always failed. And his son always died.

Rumplestiltskin wasn't even sure if he could call them dreams. Really, they were just mirrored images of his own reality.

In life, just as in his dreams, he'd been unable to save his son.

* * *

It had only been a few weeks since Bae had been left on Belle's doorstep, and already she felt like he was a gift sent to her from somewhere up above.

She was always either cleaning, or cooking, or tending to Bae and the animals on her small farm. There was always work to be done-and it was constant. She didn't have the support of a husband to share the duties with (a quality that had made Jefferson so unique from other men) and now with Bae, there was only more work to do. Being constantly on her feet made the days pass by in a whirlwind. The sun would rise, and after what felt like minutes, it would set again.

Belle found herself exhausted all of the time.

And she'd never been happier.

At first, she'd thought that maybe the reason her spirits had lifted so much was simply because, with a baby to tend to, she didn't have as much time in her days to think-and wallow-in her memories of Jefferson. She didn't have time to cry or pine or lose herself in memories from long ago. But-the more time she spent with Bae, the more she realized that this wasn't the case at all.

Many months had passed since Jefferson's passing, and now she had Bae. And although she knew that nothing and no one could ever replace the place in her heart that Belle would always keep for Jefferson, Bae had quickly filled the void-and easily made his own place in Belle's heart.

She loved little Bae more than anything else. She wasn't replacing Jefferson-nor was she forgetting him. She was simply moving on and paving the way for others to find home in her heart.

When Belle had decided to cease her search for Bae's biological parents, and raise him as her own son, she'd made a promise to herself. A promise that she would never fail him.

A promise that she would never leave him.

* * *

Rumplestiltskin sat lost in thought at his Spinning Wheel. He'd stopped actually spinning a few hours ago. Now he just found himself gently turning it slowly around with his fingers, getting lost in the motions.

As he sat alone in his little cottage-something he'd convinced himself he would need to get used to, if this was to be his life from now on-and the light of the day faded away into the gloominess of nightfall, Rumplestiltskin wondered what his purpose here was anymore.

The only person he'd ever loved-the only person he thought had _ever _loved him, had shown him just how wrong he'd been by leaving him for another.

The son the Seer had foretold him he was to have had been taken away without a fair chance.

Any family he'd once had had long seen since died or deserted him the second they had the chance.

He had no friends, no one to talk to, and no one that gave a damn about him or whether he lived or died.

He was at a loss for what to do.

Staying here, in this village and in this cottage was _hard. _Excruciatingly so. It was as if the very _walls _were mocking him with memories that had long since passed-memories that may as well have not have been _real. _He was only reminded day after day of the falsehood his life had been. Reminded of a time when things did not seem as bleak or unkind as they were now.

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. There was nothing left here for him now.

He wondered if there ever had been.

He wasn't sure how far he would go, or how far he _could _go. Traveling on foot would not be easy, especially now, but he had no other options. If he was going to leave, this was the only way.

He was also afraid. Aside from the Ogre's War, he had never ventured far outside of his own village. He'd never been one for adventure-he'd always been content with what he had, and grateful enough that he had it. He didn't know what was ahead or what lurked in the shadows of unknown and unfamiliar territory. He didn't know anything beyond this cottage.

And if the thought of the unknown wasn't enough to frighten him, the uncertainty of just how _far _his tale of treason and cowardice had traveled was.

The people in his village had not taken kindly to his actions. They too had family members who were summoned to the Battlefields. Family who had _stayed _and _died _fighting for their Kingdom. And Rumplestiltskin knew there many other villages with others suffering the same type of loss as those in his own village. He didn't expect that strangers would take to him kindly if the people he had known for many years had been so quick to turn their backs on him.

The only thing he could hope for was that stories of his face had not been a part of the tale that had traveled so quickly from the front. If he were unrecognizable-perhaps he would be able to live out the remainder of his days in quiet peace and solitude.

His father had always told him that names had power.

If this was true, then the answer was simple.

He wouldn't give it.

He could go to another place, another village, another town-there was nothing left for him here. He had nothing to take with him-only the burden that came with being a coward and his broken heart.

He would _not _be a coward. Not anymore.

He would be brave. He would push past the memories of his past and the pain in his heart.

Tomorrow, once the sun had risen, he would leave.

**And I wonder where he's going to go… : ) Hehe! Thanks for reading! I'm going to try something a little different with this story, a lot of people have been asking whether this story will feature primarily Rumple as the Dark One or Rumple as the Spinner. I have ideas for either option, so I'm leaving it up to you all! Let me know which Rumple you'd rather see and that's the direction I'll take the story! xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't like he had many possessions to take with him, nothing about him looked out of the ordinary as he hobbled out of his house with a small burlap sack over his back. As he started walking, he didn't dare look back, there was nothing comforting about his home anymore. Even so-he thought that perhaps even a _few _of the other villagers-maybe the farmers who he'd gotten to know somewhat well over the years-would notice that something was amiss as he headed towards the outskirts of the village. But no-none of them seemed to give him a second glance.

They didn't know what he was doing or if he was going somewhere, and they didn't care.

It was just another reason why he was leaving. While it didn't matter to him what others thought-or so he tried to tell himself-he did yearn to find someone that might show him even a morsel of kindness. It wasn't as if he was expecting to find true love-that was just something made up for children's stories-but he thought that maybe, in the right place-he could at least find a friend.

He truly didn't know where he would go-he wasn't sure how long it would take him to reach the next village-nor how far away it was. He wasn't even sure if that was where he should stop.

That's the tricky thing about running away from your problems-you never know when or if you'll ever feel safe enough to stop running.

He was feeling braver than he had felt in a long time. Of course, his village-and the others that were near were relatively deserted from the main roads of travel. It wasn't likely that he would come across any soldiers along his journey. If anything-he might pass someone similar to himself-just another lost soul searching for something.

No-he didn't know where he was going. He didn't know where he would stay once he got to wherever he was going. He had no idea what life was about to throw at him.

All he _did _know was that he had to leave. He had to go anywhere-anywhere but here.

* * *

"Oh Belle, he's beautiful." Belle's friend Mary Margaret said as she gently held Bae in her arms, rocking him gently.

Belle beamed at the compliment. She took great pride in the fact that others seemed to be as taken with her baby as she was.

"He's an angel, that's for sure." Belle said softly, gently running her hand along Bae's head. He already had a light tuff of brown hair growing. He was so little, and yet-he was already growing up so fast.

"Belle." Mary Margaret asked, her voice heavy with concern. "You know that David and I are always here for you if you need anything right?"

Belle laughed softly, knowing exactly what Mary Margaret was going to say.

"I'm fine Mar, I promise." Belle said looking at her friend, her eyes earnest. "Actually, I haven't felt this happy in a long time."

Mary Margaret's eyes filled with sympathy.

"Belle-if you ever need to talk about anything-"

Squeezing her friends' hand gently, Belle looked at Mary Margaret.

"I promise, I'm fine." Belle said. "Honestly, I feel just-I feel _light _again. I feel like I have purpose again. I feel like I know what I'm supposed to be doing with my life again, you know?" Belle paused and looked at Bae, beaming at her new son. "I'm supposed to take care of him."

Mary Margaret watched Belle carefully, smiling slightly at her friend's words.

"I can see how happy he's made you. I haven't seen you this happy since-" Mary Margaret paused, looking guilty. "I'm sorry. You know what I mean."

Belle shook her head.

"It's okay, you don't need to be sorry. I still don't want to talk about it-but it's okay. He died honorably. He died so someone else could live-he died a hero. I always knew he was one, and now the world does too." Belle said, thinking fondly about Jefferson.

Mary Margaret studied Belle in awe.

"Belle Gold-you really are the bravest person I know."

Belle blushed.

"No, I'm not." She said. "I'm just doing what I have to do."

"Exactly." Mary Margaret said, her eyes fierce. "You're doing what you have to do-even though it's hard. And that's the bravest thing of all."

* * *

It was amazing how quickly day could turn to night when you didn't stop moving. That was something Rumplestiltskin had realized rather quickly as he continued traveling down the winding roads through the forest, venturing further and further away from the only place he'd ever called home.

The darker the sky got-the more frightened Rumplestiltskin became. It was getting difficult to see what was more than two feet in front of him. Every step that he took was like heading deeper and deeper into the unknown-and the original bravery he had felt in the light of morning was fading fast.

"Hey! Hey you!" A voice from behind him shouted.

Rumplestiltskin didn't dare look over his shoulder-he just hurried over to the side of the road as quickly as he could, keeping his head down.

"Hey Cripple! I was talking to you!" The man said, his voice sounding more threatening.

Trying his best to pick up his pace, Rumplestiltskin kept on walking, but he knew it was no use-the man would inevitably catch up with him. Before he even had a chance to try and think of some kind of plan, he felt a strong hand grab his shoulder and yank him backward.

"Thought you could get away without saying goodbye did you?" The man said, his voice slurring. Rumplestiltskin could smell the waft of liquor heavy on his breath.

"Please." Rumplestiltskin said, his voice sounding as small as he felt. "I just want to be on my way."

"Be on your way?" The man sneered, slapping Rumplestiltskin hard across the face. "Cowards don't get to leave without paying a price!"

Doing his best to protect himself, Rumplestiltskin coiled himself into a tight ball and felt agony wash over him as the man began to beat him senseless. Every kick and every punch caused him more and more pain-it was becoming difficult to breathe.

Kicking Rumplestiltskin hard in the groin, the man spat on him and looked down at him sneering.

"Don't you _ever _come back you coward. Not if you know what's good for you." With those final words, the man stalked away in the opposite direction.

Rumplestiltskin lay coiled on the ground for a long while. Hot tears stinging his eyes. He knew if he didn't move quickly, he would surely die from his injuries.

Doing his best to stand, leaning even more heavily on his walking stick, Rumplestiltskin continued in the direction of the next village. He knew it wouldn't be too long before he reached it and could seek help.

* * *

Gently putting Bae down for bed, Belle placed a light kiss on top of his forehead before quietly slipping out of the room.

Humming softly to herself, Belle quickly slipped outside to tend to the barn animals. Closing the door to the house behind her, Belle had to stifle a scream at the sight she saw before her.

Lying unconscious on her doorstep was a man-a man perhaps ten years older than her, badly beaten and covered in blood. A torn burlap sack tossed onto the ground not too far from her, and a tall walking staff clutched tightly in his hands.

Staring down at shock and in fear of this stranger, Belle did her best to steady her breathing before doing her best to haul the man up and carry him inside.

_Do the brave thing, and bravery will follow. _

**Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone! :) **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story! It means a lot! :) I wanted to mention that, I'm heading back to University next week so the updates for this story won't be as frequent. I will still be updating it as quickly as I can-but I just wanted to give you all a heads up! :) On another note, because I'm going to be back at school, I'm starting to look for a Beta to look over and give their thoughts to my chapters before I post them. If anyone would be interested in this, please PM me and let me know! :) **

**Enough of my babbling! Enjoy the chapter! **

* * *

Rumplestiltskin wasn't sure what death felt like. He'd known pain before-and had certainly experienced his fair share of it, but he didn't know how painful death would feel. He couldn't even be certain if he was dead-or quickly on his way to death, but one thing he did know-he was in pain, a great deal of pain.

It was making it impossible to do the most basic of things. He felt immobile, every time he tried to move his leg or his arm, it was futile. He couldn't. He couldn't even open his eyes to see where he was-but to him, that was more of a blessing than anything. He wasn't sure he wanted to see where he was. Either he was dead and would wake up in the unknown, or he was alive and in the middle of a forest somewhere, left to be picked at by the animals until there was nothing left of him.

* * *

As his senses slowly began to return to him, the first thing that Rumplestiltskin became aware of was the sound of…singing? Every few moments, when he listened very hard, he could hear the faint of humming of a loon-like voice-softly singing a tune that he did not recognize. It was a lovely sound. Hearing it assured him that he was dying, for clearly an angel was leading him out of the World.

As the time passed, and Rumplestiltskin couldn't be certain if it had been hours or only minutes, he begun to register a brief flickering of light. Struggling to open his eyes, he was confused to find himself lying atop of a soft bed, a small candle lit beside him, in a warm and unfamiliar house.

As he tried to crane his neck to take in his new surrounding, he quickly realized it was nearly impossible to do so with the sharp and throbbing pain he was feeling all throughout his body. Leaning his head back against the bed, he waited for whatever was to come. If he wasn't dead yet, surely someone would kill him. No one would ever have taken someone like him into their home just to help him. No one would ever show him kindness-not without wanting something in return.

And oh yes, many people wanted him dead, or at least thought that he _should _be. And surely this mystery person would be no different.

At least, that's what he thought-until he heard the Angel singing again-only this time, the sound seemed to be coming closer and closer towards him.

And then he saw her-the Angel. Except, she looked far too _real _to be an Angel. It couldn't be-was she a woman? It certainly appeared so. And a beautiful woman she was at that. She had long and dark hair that was pulled back from her face in a loose bun, and piercing blue eyes that Rumplestiltskin was sure that-had the light been better, and had his vision not been so clouded due to his injuries, he would have gotten lost in them.

As Rumplestiltskin continued to watch her, he realized that his injured leg had been wrapped in something and elevated for support. It was then that it hit him; this woman was _tending _to him. She was helping him with his injuries.

She also didn't seem to be aware of the fact that he had regained consciousness and was now watching her as closely as he could.

Suddenly feeling incredibly intrusive, Rumplestiltskin made a small grunting noise, alerting the woman that he was awake.

"Oh!" Belle said, clutching her hand to her heart and looking at him. "You're awake!" She smiled at him.

Rumplestiltskin couldn't remember the last time he'd seen someone smile at him, _really _smile at him. He supposed it must have been Milah before he'd left for the Ogre's War-but now he couldn't be sure if even that had been genuine-he couldn't be sure of anything anymore.

Rumplestiltskin nodded, suddenly too nervous to know what to say.

"I'm Belle." She said sweetly to him, pausing. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

Rumplestiltskin continued to stare at her, doing his best to keep his expression guarded.

"How did I end up here?" He croaked, the words hurting his throat as they left his mouth. He was still nervous, still terribly untrusting of this _Belle-_but he needed to know.

Belle's smile faltered.

"You um-well I, I found you on my doorstep." She looked sad. "You were hurt pretty badly and completely unconscious."

Rumplestiltskin had suspected that, he'd known immediately after the assault from the man on the road that he would slip out of consciousness eventually, for the attack had not been minimal.

"But why am I _here?" _Rumplestiltskin was practically begging. He _needed _to understand what was going on. He knew that he was far from his village-far from all things that were once familiar and safe. He was alone and very, _very _frightened.

Belle's eyebrows furrowed at his words.

"Well, I couldn't just _leave _you out there to die!" She said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the entire world.

_Yes you could have. _Rumplestiltskin thought, his mind clouding over in confusion. _Anyone else would have. _

Tentatively and slowly, Belle moved closer towards him.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Belle spoke kindly. "I just want to make sure you're alright."

Rumplestiltskin stared up at the woman, the woman called Belle. For whatever reason, he _believed _her words to be true. He trusted her-and trust did not always come easily. Not now.

"Thank you." Rumplestiltskin said softly-so softly that he wasn't even sure if Belle had heard him.

Belle smiled at him, her eyes warm and caring.

"You should rest." She said firmly. "We can talk more in the morning."

As he was about to reply, he was startled by the sound of a baby's cry.

"Oh goodness," Belle said quickly, standing up and rushing out of the room. "I'll be right back!" She called to him.

As she hurried away, Rumplestiltskin wondered what this woman's husband would think of such a thing-another man in his home. Was he kind and understanding like this woman seemed to be? Or would he be cold and unkind like the rest of the world?

As quickly as she'd left, Belle returned-but this time, she was holding a tiny baby in her arms.

"Shh little one." Belle cooed as the small baby quieted down. "This is my son Bae." Belle said, turning to him and showing off her child.

Rumplestiltskin couldn't help but smile at the sight of the little boy. He also couldn't help but smile at the sight of a beautiful woman who looked so _happy _to be holding her son.

Bae stirred in Belle's arms, quickly drifting back off to sleep.

Bae still in her arms, Belle seated herself on the edge of the bed where Rumplestiltskin lay.

Whispering to her nearly sleeping baby, Belle said. "Bae-this is-" She paused, looking at him again. "I actually don't know your name."

Rumplestiltskin was about to answer, but then he remembered. This was his chance for a new start-a new life. He didn't have to be Rumplestiltskin the coward anymore-not if he didn't want to be.

"I'm-" He paused. "I'm Henry."

Belle smiled.

"It's nice to meet you Henry." Turning her attention back to Bae, she said. "Bae, this is Henry. Henry, this is Bae."

Rumplestiltskin smiled at the introduction. The boy was as beautiful as his mother.

"He's a beautiful baby." Rumplestiltskin said kindly, meaning it too. "You and your husband must be very proud."

He didn't fail to notice the shadow that seemed to take over Belle's face at the mention of a husband.

"Actually-" Belle spoke without emotion. "My husband's gone-I'm a widow." Belle paused, most people in her village knew of how she _really _got Bae-it was a small village after all, and word travelled quickly. But she couldn't bring herself to tell complete strangers the truth. She wouldn't risk anyone trying to take her baby away from her. "My husband died while I was pregnant-he never got to meet his son." Belle lied.

Rumplestiltskin felt overwhelmed with sadness at her story. Just like him-she too had lost someone she'd loved. Her husband.

Just as he had lost his son.

"I'm sorry." Rumplestiltskin said, unsure of what he _could _say.

Belle looked solemn for a moment before shooting him a small smile.

"Thank you." She said quietly. "But-it's okay right Bae?" Belle said, her tone immensely more cheerful when she addressed her son. "We look at the drawing I have of him everyday right?"

Belle got up slowly and walked across the room. Leafing through a large leather-bound book, she pulled out a charcoal drawing.

Walking back over to him, Belle handed him the drawing.

"That's my husband Jefferson." Belle said, her voice filled with nothing but affection.

Rumplestiltskin took the drawing tenderly in his hands. As he stared at it, he was filed with an overwhelming sense of dread.

He _knew _this man. He knew Jefferson.

Jefferson was the reason he was still alive.


	5. Chapter 5

_War had not been all that he'd expected it to be. He'd only been on the front for about a month-and very little had occurred. There had been no attacks…yet. None from where Rumplestiltskin was stationed at least. But he-as did all of the other soldiers-knew that soon enough-the Ogre's would come. _

_And they would be ready._

_War, thus far, had been very much a waiting game. The soldiers would spend hours dressed in their strongest armor, patrolling the area for anything that seemed out of the ordinary-the blazing sun pouring over their backs, burning. _

_And it was the waiting that was torturous-and the silence. That too ate away at Rumplestiltskin's nerves far too often. Even the slightest disturbance in the birds patterns in the sky, or the rustling of a tree branch, made him feel uneasy. _

_He knew the Ogre's were coming, as did they all. _

_But the question was, when? _

_And really, Rumplestiltskin wasn't sure what he'd prefer more. The agony that was the waiting, or the danger that would come once the Ogre's came. Both outcomes left him feeling frightened. He wanted to be brave. He wanted to show the world that he wasn't like his father had been-but being brave was hard when you were terrified for your life with every passing day. _

_The only thing that kept him grounded were thoughts of Milah. Although the idea that she was back in their village all alone, left waiting for him to return to start their life together left him feeling guilty and saddened-it was the image of her that kept him moving. It was her that kept him from running. _

_He needed to do this, needed to be here for her-but, more than anything. _

_He needed to be here for himself._

* * *

_Rumplestiltskin had never had many friends. Being raised by those weren't your parents made you different. And to children, differences were not to be trusted. So really, it wasn't like he'd expected to make many while serving. But still, a small part of him had thought that perhaps some sort of bond might be formed between all of the soldiers, if not simply because they were all living the same day over and over together._

_They were all living in fear._

_Truthfully, Rumplestiltskin had __hoped __he'd form some type of friendship with one of the other men. Having someone to talk to would certainly help keep the days from all running together. _

_But he hadn't been so lucky, that is, not until another man-a man younger than him, had joined their section. A man named Jefferson Gold. _

_It was becoming more and more common, for more men to join them-the Ogre's were closing in. It would only be a matter of time before they reached them, and they needed to be ready. _

"_Here." Jefferson said to Rumplestiltskin as he walked up behind him, handing him a small canteen of water. "You look like you need this more than I do." _

_Rumplestiltskin took the water eagerly, nodding in thanks as he guzzled as much of it down as he could. Standing in the scorching sun for hours on end was enough to drive a man mad if one wasn't careful. _

"_Thank you." Rumplestiltskin said, handing him back the canteen once he'd regained his breath. _

"_No problem." Jefferson said easily. "How long have you been serving?"_

"_Just under a month." Rumplestiltskin answered, grateful for the conversation. "What about you? Were you stationed anywhere else before coming here?" _

_Jefferson shook his head. "No. I was sent my letter about a week ago and I was told to report here as soon as I could." _

_Rumplestiltskin nodded. "Are you-are you scared?" He asked hesitantly. Rumplestiltskin certainly was-though, if this man claimed he was not, he would surely lie. _

_Surprisingly, the man nodded. "Yes." He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "A man would be stupid not to be." _

_Rumplestiltskin smiled, immediately respecting this man for his honesty. "Rumplestiltskin." He said, introducing himself to the man and reaching out his hand in greeting._

"_Jefferson." He said, shaking it. "What about you? Are you frightened?"_

_Rumplestiltskin paused. "I'm terrified." _

_Jefferson smiled knowingly. "I can relate. It's a dangerous thing, what we're doing. A lot can go wrong and, I don't know about you but, I've got a lot to lose if it does." _

_Rumplestiltskin looked at him with understanding. "A girl?" _

_Jefferson smiled, his grin silly. "Is it that obvious?" _

"_I just know how it feels." Rumplestiltskin said kindly, thinking about Milah as he did so. _

"_We just got married a couple of months ago." Jefferson said, his voice wistful. "They were the best two months of my life, and I've got to be honest. I hope this War ends soon, because I really want to get home to her." _

"_Had you known her long before that?" Rumplestiltskin asked curiously. _

_Jefferson nodded. "We met as teenagers, and became the best of friends almost immediately." _

"_Is she your 'true love?'" Rumplestiltskin asked jokingly. He knew that such things didn't exist. _

"_Yes." The man said without hesitation. His voice serious._

_Rumplestiltskin stared at the man in wonder. He'd never seen someone speak with such strength and conviction before. Rumplestiltskin knew that he loved Milah, but he'd never believed it to be 'true love.' In his mind, such things were reserved for Prince's and Princess's, not commoners like him. _

"_What's her na-" Rumplestiltskin began to ask before he was cut off by the sound of screaming coming from behind them. _

_Looking at each other, both of their faces grim, Rumplestiltskin and Jefferson ran off in the direction of the screaming._

_It was time. _

_The waiting was over._

_The Ogre's had arrived._

* * *

_It was a dizzying sight. The Ogre's couldn't have arrived more than a few minutes ago, and already-the bloodshed was horrendous. Essence from other beings-other soldiers-were splayed among the branches of trees and on the ground before them. _

_The clinking and slashing sounds of swords were constant-each of them trying to serve their own purpose-trying to kill an Ogre. _

_But, it was the Ogre's themselves that were the most terrifying. It became clear to Rumplestiltskin very quickly how they had so easily ravaged so many Kingdom's, and wreaked havoc upon so many lives. _

_They were large beings, each of them no smaller than six feet in height. Their skin was a coarse and thick dark colour that Rumplestiltskin could not even identify. Their teeth looked more like fangs, and their eyes were as black as the night sky. _

_He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how someone as small as him was ever going to be able to fight something as ferocious as these Ogre's. There was no way he stood a chance. _

_Jefferson however, was in fine form. He fought with such skill that Rumplestiltskin wouldn't have been surprised if, by the time the War ended, he would be knighted by the Queen herself. _

_But, Rumplestiltskin couldn't watch him for long. An Ogre had turned its attention away from one of the other soldiers and was now quickly advancing on him. _

_Shakily, Rumplestiltskin drew his sword and raised it high. He was ready. He would fight. He would not be a coward. _

_The Ogre barreled towards him. Rolling quickly out of the way, Rumplestiltskin dodged its attack. But that only seemed to anger it more. _

_Snarling and baring its teeth, the Ogre charged him, knocking his sword right out of his hand. Losing his footing from the impact, Rumplestiltskin fell to the ground. _

_This was it. It was over. He was going to die. He would never have a family. _

"_Move!" Jefferson shouted at him as he ran forward and pierced his sword in the Ogre's side, allowing Rumplestiltskin time to roll away while the Ogre was distracted. _

_His heart pounding in his chest, Rumplestiltskin scurried to the side of the battlefield, watching Jefferson fight the Ogre with immense skill. But, even Jefferson was not strong enough to finish off this Ogre. _

_Menacingly, the Ogre punched Jefferson in the stomach, sending him down to the ground, landing hard on his back. _

_Before Rumplestiltskin could even register what was happening, he watched Jefferson get killed by the Ogre, right before hits very eyes. _

_Jefferson risked his life for him. _

_He died._

_And Rumplestiltskin survived._

* * *

As Rumplestiltskin stared at the drawing Belle had shown him, he was flooded with memories from many months ago. This couldn't be Jefferson. It wasn't possible.

But it _was. _Rumplestiltskin would never forget his face. He'd plagued his dreams for many nights during the War before he'd run away and returned to Milah. He'd only been vacant from them as of late because dreams of Milah and her deception had taken his place.

But the dreams of Jefferson were different kinds of dreams. They were dreams of guilt. Jefferson had _saved _him. He had sacrificed himself for a complete stranger.

And many months later, Rumplestiltskin had honored him by fleeing from battle all together.

He had to know. He had to know if the man in the picture was who Rumplestiltskin suspected he was.

"What happened to him?" Rumplestiltskin asked as he handed Belle back the drawing, though he was sure he already knew the answer.

Belle looked wistful. "He was summoned to fight in the Ogre's War."

Rumplestiltskin's palms began to sweat.

"He hadn't even been away for long-only about a week or so." Belle continued. "The Ogre's attacked his station."

Rumplestiltskin's throat felt dry.

"But-he died honorably." Belle smiled sadly. "He died saving another soldier." Belle paused. "If he _had _to be taken from me, I'm glad it happened the way it did. He saved another woman from suffering the heartache of losing her husband."

If Rumplestiltskin had thought he was in pain earlier, the pain that he was feeling internally now was far worse.

Milah would have been _happy _if he'd died. She'd told him so. She'd _never _loved him. Had he died instead of Jefferson, he would not have had to undergo the pain and suffering he was going through now.

He would not have left this kind women without a husband.

He would not have left a little boy without a father.

It was all his fault.


End file.
